Round two: cleaning up the beige box
Before we begin today's lesson, class, I must confess: I've led you astray in recent weeks. When we began this little journey into the Cybernetic Awareness of Geekdom, I promised to provide constructive, helpful advice at every turn. I betrayed this promise as I slowly devolved into columns focusing on concepts, not advice. I have no excuses.
That said, today begins our return to practical advice, centering first on how to get your computer to stop sucking. By far the majority complaint I hear about a peer's computer is "it runs too slow" or "it does X for no reason." There is no universal answer to such a problem, but there are possibilities—most of them center around malware.
Malware—a blend of "malicious software"—is designed specifically to cause problems with a user's computer, most likely without the owner's approval or knowledge. The software is generally difficult to remove, often requiring a specifically tailored removal application, and can lead to problems ranging from annoying (pop-up windows, general speed reduction) to actual damage (data loss, structural integrity problems). Without question, though, the software is not legitimate—in most situations, problems are caused as a result of poor coding, not of intentional rabble-rousing.
The most common forms of malware are generally separated into several categories: virii, worms, trojan horses, spyware and browser hijackers. The three former instances should be addressed with anti-virus software (as covered in a previous column), and are generally avoided by remaining cautious of email attachments—and remaining cautious when engaging in "legal" peer to peer acts. Once infected, however, a virus or trojan horse has much grater potential to cause permanent damage to your data. The latter examples are more prevalent, mostly due to the emphasis their creators place on that ability.
When pop-up ads first became a popular form of Internet advertising, spyware of all shapes and sizes made a dramatic jump to the mainstream. The most common method of propagation is through browser plug-ins, which anonymously and silently install themselves the moment you visit a hijacked—or, occasionally, intentionally designed—website. (Stay clear of "naughty" websites, as well, as they are loaded down with all sorts of software unpleasantries.)
There are other methods, as well, centering mostly on piggy-backing, which is exactly what it sounds like. If given the chance, supporters—those that benefit from the annoying advertisements and information provided by spyware—will install their improper code alongside legitimate applications. This practice heralds to the long-ago days of the Internet, but became a dominant practice after the success shown by Kazaa (although spyware-free versions were made available, the "true" Kazaa Desktop application contained many spyware applications).
In summary, the following bad habits will result in your system becoming infected. (So, logically, avoiding these things will [hopefully] keep you clean.) Downloading through P2P programs, opening unknown email messages and attachments, installing software without checking its validity, clicking on various prompt boxes on web sites which install certain programs, or not installing one of the various programs I shall list forthwith.
Fighting spyware is not as difficult as it might appear, for the smart guys behind mainstream application development dislike the crap as much as you do. Initially, Lavasoft's Ad-Aware led the market, but in the years since it has been surpassed by Spybot S&D. Additional applications, such as Javacool's SpywareBlaster, can also assist in blocking unwanted installations. (If you're really smart, you'll even switch over from IE to Mozilla Firefox, which is not only safer and more secure, but snazzier and has a cute little fox as its mascot!)
Coupled with a few browser tweaks—check your Security Settings (in Internet Explorer) to disallow automatic installation of ActiveX plug-ins; Mozilla users have this set by default—and not doing anything stupid, and your computer should remain clear of inappropriate and mind-numbingly annoying malware.